


The Girl Who Caught The Siths Attention [AAO ver.]

by Midna127



Series: Waifu Wars Cinematic Universe [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Catboys & Catgirls, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, F/M, Kidnapping, Multi, Polyamory, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:09:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23823613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midna127/pseuds/Midna127
Summary: There's only one girl in the entire galaxy who is half-cat, half-human (a neko, if you will). The Sith Order, a group of colorful Sith lords from different planets who had now formed a group in Geonosis, has captured this extremely rare specimen. But Tina is different from other people in a "kidnapped by villains" scenario- she's obnoxious and very lewd, even when in bad situations! This of course may throw them off!
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker/Original Character(s), Darth Maul/Original Character, Dooku (Star Wars)/Original Character, General Grievous/Original Character, Sheev Palpatine/Original Character
Series: Waifu Wars Cinematic Universe [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1301696
Kudos: 1





	1. 誘拐された

Normally when I'm bored, I like to shove death sticks up my ass.

Correction. Normally, I like to shove death sticks up my ass. No other feeling in the galaxy can top it, except being whipped, choked, and being drunk.

As kinky as it sounds to be Watto's slave, it's soooooooo not. I have to do manual labor all the time, and I don't get so much as a spanking. At least he has an alcohol stash that he lets me indulge in.

Yes, I know I'm 18, and yes, I know it's not the legal drinking age. But I don't care. I chug down bottles like there's no tomorrow.

Watto sends me out to run errands as well, including buying more alcohol. "Tina," he'd tell me. "Bring me more alcohol. We're out of it again. Come back here in an hour or I'll make you work longer."

I come back in 59 minutes every time.

Today, he sent me on another alcohol adventure. But this time, it'd become something greater.

"I'll have that alcohol now," I told the clerk at the alcohol store.

He knew the usual, since I go there every day and ask for the same things every time. That's how often I drink. I know it's unhealthy. I know it's illegal. Shut up.

I grabbed the bottles, gave him the money, and left. Then something happened.

My tail swished and my ears perked up. Ooh, I can hear not too far from here. Exciting.

I see an old man wearing... is that... what is that?? A dress?

LOL, this goofy looking motherfucker!

I pounced on him.

The man groaned.

"Yo! I'm only going to assume you're not evil," I snickered a little.

He blushed a bit and then looked at me seriously. "A cat girl? I cannot believe such a rare specimen crossed my path. You're coming with me."

"You look kind of stupid, but I suppose I could do it with you," I sighed. The death sticks began sliding further inside my ass at the thought of it.

"W-What?!" he blushed, finally bringing some color to his otherwise pale face.

"Ah? That's not what you're taking me for? Geez, okay."

The man gritted his teeth. "No, you little pervert- how old are you, anyway? Not that I really care."

"I'm 18. How old are you? 86?" I smirked.

"That's it, I've had enough!" He yelled.

"I think I could make that my accomplishment! I made the old man angry!"

"That's not my name!"

"Oh yeah? Then what is it?"

"...Count Dooku," he mumbled.

"Neat, I'm Tina. Call me Tina-chan."


	2. 出発する

Count Dooku grabbed my wrist and squeezed hard. I moaned in response.

"You're coming with me, Tina-chan," he told me, getting up.

I attempted to protest, but I accidentally stepped on one of the wine bottles and fell onto his chest.

"Oho~ Your heart is beating fast~" I told him.

He continued to trudge on, his grip nearly cutting off the blood flow in my arm.

I moaned again.

"Hey, I'd say this is a dream come true! Getting kidnapped by a bad guy is real exciting, y'know?" I blushed deeply.

"Oh, you'll be scared when we get there, you brat..." he smirked, thinking of me, getting scared.

We boarded a ship and headed off to, as Dooku explained, the planet Geonosis. I was getting wet at the thought of all the men I could seduce on Geonosis. Or girls. I don't discriminate.

Finally, the ship landed. "Oh, I know where we are," I said.

Dooku pretended to not listen to me and hauled me over to a group of other men wearing similarly dark robes.

"Wow! You guys are colorful. Don't you try to pull that 'friendship is magic' bullshit on me, though," I joked.

Again, Dooku ignored me, like the bitch he is. "I have brought the only half-human, half-cat hybrid in the galaxy."

A pretty skinny, old, dressed really gaudy and fancy man observed my ears twitching. "A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one."

So. We've got: a pedophile, a horrifying droid, a fellow emo, some red guy with a bunch of black face paint, and Count Dooku. Cool!

Oh. I know the pedophile, kind of.

He was the one who just said I was a welcome surprise.

"I'm always welcome wherever I go~" I purred, because I'm a neko.

The emo looked at me curiously. "What shall we do with her?"

"Well, we've kidnapped her. We should put her in her room," the red one said.

"I could not agree more," the droid nodded.

My captors led me to my room. I felt one of the death sticks slowly slide out out of excitement.


	3. 酔った

A few days passed since I was kidnapped. And it was soooooooo boring.

I learned the names of everyone there, including the child predator: Emperor Palpatine.

It's fine by me if we hook up, because I'm eighteen.

And hey, he lets me use his Disney+ account.

After binging the entirety of the Mandalorian, I was bored.

'I'm kind of bored. I already binged the first season...' I thought. 'Do they have any alcohol?'

With thoughts like that, I got up. No, I'm not addicted. I can quit any time I want. I just love to do it. Yes, I'm only 18. I'm aware this is illegal. Haha.

I walked over to the fridge.

"...ah, here we go," I smiled. "The forbidden drinks."

I grabbed one and closed the fridge, then I sneakily walked back to the couch. I took the cap off and took about two sips before I felt someone grab the drink out of my hand.

I looked back.

"Oh. Hey, Grievous," I smirked.

The general looked at me disapprovingly. "Aren't you under the legal drinking age?"

"Yasss. And?"

Grievous shook his head and glared at me like the prick he is.

But damn, he's hot.

"You're not allooooooooooowed~" he told me.

"I don't careeeeeeeeeeeeee~" I slurred back, as I became drunk.

Grievous grabbed the bottle with one of his hands. "This will make a fine addition to my collection," he stated.

I stamped my foot, causing me to become sober, and I ran to my room.

I hate my kidnappers. They're no fun.


	4. ハム嫌い

A few days passed, and I decided to leave my room again. Maybe I could grab two bottles this time.

But nope. This time, Darth Maul was lounging on the couch.

Fuck.

"Yeah, you think I want to babysit the hostage?" he groaned, reading my mind.

"I don't need to be babysat. I'm 18," I pointed out. Duh. "But sitting on me would be cool."

He rolled his eyes.

"So tell me," he said monotonously, "do you... favor anything in particular? Anything that isn't being sat on or alcohol?"

"I like getting whipped and choked."

"I... What?" Maul didn't know it, but he blushed a deep red.

"Oh. Y-You meant like normal things. Not... kinks. Whoops."

"What are... kinks?"

"Uh.. I don't really know how to explain that. They're like... things you enjoy when you're with someone and it turns you on and stuff." I can't believe I'm talking about this with an adult. This is awkward.

He shrugged. "I don't see how that is awkward. Can I try it on you?"

I smirked. "Right. Like you'd understand kinks right after I-"

Darth Maul began to choke me, via the Force.

And holy frick, it was hot.

"Ahn~ Harder~" I moaned.

He did.

Right when I felt as though I was going to pass out, he let go. I collapsed onto the ground.

"You're lucky I'm new to this, or else I'd go harder on you, little girl," he grunted into my cat ears.

"T...thank you..." I gasped.

I limped back into my room and laid down on my bed. I could feel the death sticks stir inside of me.

Wait. I forgot about the alcohol.

Dammit.


	5. 血液

It's been two weeks since I was kidnapped. It's gotten better.

For the most part.

I was lying in bed, nursing a bottle of alchohol that I smuggled from General Grievous's collection. Then my cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

....

"What the fuck do you want?!"

....

"No! Leave me alone!"

....

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU SONOFABITCH!"

I slammed my cell phone onto the bed, causing it to shatter into a million pieces. I sobbed, and clawed at my face.

Suddenly, the door burst open. It was Anakin Skywalker.

"We all hear your phone shattering. What happened?"

I turned my face away so he couldn't see it. "I-It was my dad. He said he was happy when he found out I was kidnapped!"

"You have a father? I thought you were sold into slavery after your parents died," Anakin said.

Oh, Anakin. So naive.

"No. They sold me. My father fused my DNA with a cat's so I could send ideal feet pics to grown men of any race, so we can pay rent. Then Watto offered to buy me instead for a shit lot of money, and my parents were fine with it." I began sobbing again.

"That's horrendous!" Anakin screamed. "How could they do this to you?! If anything, you're the comedic relief of the group!"

I sobbed harder. "I... I...!"

Anakin kissed my hand. "Tina-chan. It's okay. We all love you, no matter what your backstory is."

"You do?" I asked.

Anakin nodded, even though I couldn't see it. "Of course. You're funny, adorable, and not like the other girls. You're special. Now come on."

"Are you hitting on me?"

He laughed. "Not yet. I just wish to see your beautiful face, Tina-chan."

I turned to face him, and his smile fell. "HOLY SHIT, YOU'RE BLEEDING!"

"I am?" I asked nonchalantly.

"THE ENTIRE RIGHT SIDE OF YOUR FACE IS COVERED IN BLOOD! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!"

I stared at him. "I uh... I clawed at my face."

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!" I started sobbing again.

Anakin pulled me close to him and hugged me. My blood stained his Sith robes, but he didn't seem to mind. "Ssh... it's okay, baby, it's okay. No matter how much you hurt yourself, we will always love you."

The salt of my tears made the cuts sting, and caused me to cry harder.

I wish the hug never ended.


	6. エンディング

A day passed since my emotional breakdown. It was kinda quirky having everyone who kidnapped me starting to look after me like I was their pet or something.

Well, duh. I'm a Neko.

But someone who spent the least amount of time with me was Palpatine. It wasn't like he had a stick up his ass or anything; that was Count Dooku. But he basically ignored me. And I hate it when people ignore me.

I put on a MCR t-shirt, ripped jeans, and put on a necklace.

Then I adjusted my socks, since that's where I put my boobs. See, when I was kidnapped, I wasn't wearing a bra. And my room has a full-on wardrobe with a walk-in closet, except there were no bras. I guess everyone was uncomfortable having to buy one for me, and they didn't want me to leave the building.

It was annoying to treat a mysterious, lost one such as myself like this. But then again, they probably can't handle someone as quirky as me.

I got out of my room and conveniently saw Palpatine sitting on the couch in the living room, watching something on Disney+. I didn't care. I pounced on him.

He screamed in response, and I laughed. "Aww, is the emperor scared of a wittle kitty witty~" I teased.

"No," he groaned, getting angry.

I laughed, knowing he was going to do something to me if he kept it up. "Really? It seems like you're scared. Terrified. Petrified. Or- *gasp* maybe even-"

"No... no no YOU!" he screamed, emitting Force lightning from his fingers. It shocked my body, lifting me up in the air.

It was so hot.

"More! MORE!" I moaned.

"Wait, what?" Palpatine stopped and I dropped onto the floor. Hard.

It's okay. I loved the pain.

"What else are you into?" Palpatine asked.

Oh God. I didn't think it'd get to this point. Nobody else seemed to be home, so it was okay for me to say it.

"You," I said, blushing.

"Me?" he responded.

He then pulled me into a hug. "I'm into you as well, Tina-chan."

I blushed harder. "P...Palpatine-senpai..."

We leaned in to kiss each other, but were interrupted by the sound of something dropping to the ground.

There stood Count Dooku, General Grievous, Darth Maul, and Anakin Skywalker. Everyone had at least one box of chocolates in their hands.

"This is impossible!" said Count Dooku. "I found her first! She should have been my girlfriend!"

"You're joking," said General Grievous. "When she gave me that bottle of alcohol, she gave me her love alongside it. It was symbolic."

Darth Maul glared at them. "You're both wrong. I choked her with the Force. Her favorite."

"Unlike you three, I broke up with my shitty girlfriend just to be with Tina-chan!" shouted Anakin, getting furious. "And we shared an emotional moment together!"

"Tina-chan," said Palpatine. "Surely you wish to be with me instead of these inferiors. I can make you my Empress."

I wasn't sure how to react at first. I had fallen in love with all of them.

"I wish I were able to be in a harem with you all," said Tina-chan. "I don't love one Sith lord more than another. You're all beautiful, kind, smart, funny, and deliciously evil."

Then everyone hugged me. "I promise you, Tina-chan," said Count Dooku, "I will become a man worthy of your affection."

"I will let you drink as much as you want, whenever you want," said General Grievous. "And I shall drink alongside you."

"So long as I draw breath," said Darth Maul, "know that I will always be here to please you whenever you wish."

Anakin smiled softly. "Whenever you have a problem, I'll let you cry on my shoulders."

"And I will treat you like the empress you are," said Palpatine.

"We will kill anyone who wrongs you," they all said in unison.

I started crying. "I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!"

"We love you too, Tina-chan."


End file.
